Sunday, April 29, 2007

Let's Talk About Sex ~ News For The Thoroughly Modern Mammal

Ill: Indymedia

Free-Love Females Gain Evolutionary Advantage
In a jolt to the fine sensibilities of male mammals everywhere, here comes a report from scientists studying a small furry mammal in Australia that says females of the species are not only not ashamed of their promiscuity, those who were gained significant evolutionary advantages, living longer & bearing healthier offspring than monogamous females.
Right-wing religious zealots of human male species everywhere were immediately up in arms, calling for chastity belts for the furry little creatures.
Said one, who wished to remain anonymous, "Evolution is heresy--we all know that--but a man can never be too careful, lest his daughters & wives get a notion to follow suit. " He added, "We want our women to be pure, lest, in all our fooling around, we get one pregnant. No man wants to pay child support to a creature who isn't carrying his genetic material ~ er, fine moral sensibilities ~ onto a new generation. Now that we've succeeded in banning abortion for all intents & purposes, the danger is even greater that we'll be called upon to support progeny that isn't even ours. Uh, maybe we didn't think this through carefully enough."
Another pointed out that born-again Muslim women have found ways to restore their virginity & proposed that all right wing Christian men insist that their women do the same. "Of course, it's really not the same as the original intact state, but we believe in God's great forgiveness, & we're sure that if He can overlook our boozing, drug use, & whoring around, He will have the decency to look the other way with respect to a surgical procedure that restores the fun ~ er, propriety ~ to a proper Christian woman."



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