You'd Think They'd Have The Brains To Let This Story Die

Image of Original Painting, “General Mushroom," Used With Permission of the Artist, Mark Bryan. http://www.artofmarkbryan.com/

Suicide Theory Implicates Lawyers

You’d think they’d stop trying purposely to make a big fuss about so clearly inane & overblown “issues” in the effort to rally Americans around anything to do with the terrorist scare—for instance, those woeful, piss-poor excuses for “homegrown” terrorists the “Miami Seven” (whose defense attorneys just may have grounds for entrapment, seeing’s that the fearsome creatures had absolutely no clue how to go about being effective terrorists until the FBI showed them how & offered to buy them stuff).

Followed in short order by the bona-fide foreign terrorists--scarier to the average American because, after all, most of us are familiar already with the macho swagger of poor young black men in our own inner cities--who were also nowhere near close to carrying out an attack on the New York transit system--& whose plan couldn’t have had the desired effect even if they were anywhere near being able to accomplish it.

Now they want us to fear & loathe the 3 former inmates at Gitmo, who are, after all, dead--& we don’t even know that they weren’t innocent men in the first place. They were being held in indefinite detention &, unfortunately, committed suicide before our Supreme Court decided Hamdan.

But ignore that, America—maybe they were guilty of something, so you should be scared.

We have evidence now that they were conspiring to commit suicide to make us look bad, & moreover, we found it in their attorney-client communications (which are & always were privileged). To show that we’re taking decisive action to prevent more conspiracies to commit suicide & make us look bad, we say to hell with attorney-client privilege, unilaterally suspended it, & confiscated all personal documents of the remaining detainees.

You at the back of the room snickering. I don’t want to hear lame jokes about “military intelligence” & oxymorons.

What could possibly be next? Suspension of attorney-client privilege in America (e.g. all those e-mails we now know the government is surreptitiously viewing?)

One thing I’ve learned in life, cookies, is that if someone calls you delusional & you know you’re perfectly sane, they’re almost certain to be delusional themselves—or just quicker at hiding or “forgetting” the evidence by damning you with that label first. You choose what you’d rather it be.